How do you explain death to your children?

Explaining death to children

Today, while walking along our local high street with my three children in Enfield, we passed a funeral parlour. My three children suddenly became very excited because outside the parlour were two white horses attached to the most  beautiful white carriage I had ever seen. Made of glass and ornately decorated, it really was incredible. The horses had beautiful pink plumes attached to their harness and I suddenly became really saddened as it dawned on me that this was a young child’s funeral. Unaware, my children  eagerly rushed over to pet the horses and I just knew that sooner or later my 6 year old son would ask ‘awkward’ questions and I’d have to answer.

Horses petted, off we all went up the high street and to the bus stop (my children love the bus! I have a car but they love getting the bus, sitting on the top deck. My son loves to watch the branches of the trees brush against the window. 5 minutes elapse and the horse-drawn carriage passes us. Everyone on the high street stops – their eyes are drawn to the inside of the glass carriage where you can see a small pink baby’s coffin.

“What’s that box?” says my son

“A coffin”

“What’s a coffin?”

“It’s where bodies are put to be buried”

“Oh” he says…”Why is it so small?”

“It’s a baby inside”

“A BABY” he cries “Babies don’t die, only old people die” (the old lady also waiting for a bus laughs out loud at this point)

….it’s really hard. What do you say? How do you explain to a child about death? I knew the questions were coming, and I don’t want to lie to him and neither do I want to tell him some ‘fantasy’ or just ‘make something up’.

In your experience what do you say? Please comment and add any books/resources that people may find useful.