Today, while walking along our local high street with my three children in Enfield, we passed a funeral parlour. My three children suddenly became very excited because outside the parlour were two white horses attached to the most  beautiful white carriage I had ever seen. Made of glass and ornately decorated, it really was incredible. The horses had beautiful pink plumes attached to their harness and I suddenly became really saddened as it dawned on me that this was a young child’s funeral. Unaware, my children  eagerly rushed over to pet the horses and I just knew that sooner or later my 6 year old son would ask ‘awkward’ questions and I’d have to answer.

Horses petted, off we all went up the high street and to the bus stop (my children love the bus! I have a car but they love getting the bus, sitting on the top deck. My son loves to watch the branches of the trees brush against the window. 5 minutes elapse and the horse-drawn carriage passes us. Everyone on the high street stops – their eyes are drawn to the inside of the glass carriage where you can see a small pink baby’s coffin.

“What’s that box?” says my son

“A coffin”

“What’s a coffin?”

“It’s where bodies are put to be buried”

“Oh” he says…”Why is it so small?”

“It’s a baby inside”

“A BABY” he cries “Babies don’t die, only old people die” (the old lady also waiting for a bus laughs out loud at this point)

….it’s really hard. What do you say? How do you explain to a child about death? I knew the questions were coming, and I don’t want to lie to him and neither do I want to tell him some ‘fantasy’ or just ‘make something up’.

In your experience what do you say? Please comment and add any books/resources that people may find useful.

John Thornley was very close to his Grandfather and was devastated when he passed away. John lived many miles from his original roots and, due to his service in the armed forces, very rarely visited his Grandfathers resting place. This distance did not stop John thinking about his Grandad however and John realised that in this modern world of families being geographically displaced our basic primeval instinct to properly honour our dead was being stifled. And so the idea for an online tribute website was born.

Whilst researching the idea John discovered that there were in fact websites in existence that allowed visitors to create online memorials however, in his own words;

“I didn’t find one site that I felt really captured the essence of what it is to remember a loved one online. They were pepper-potted with inappropriate adverts and they didn’t treat the persons memory with the respect and reverence that every single person that has been loved and passed away deserves.”

And so he created http://www.friendsatrest.com/ Friends at Rest is a tribute website that allows visitors to create free memorials in order to remember their loved ones. Memorials can be as detailed or as sparse as the creator wants. A memorial can be created with just the persons’ name, however, a typical memorial consists of a picture of the person to whom the tribute relates, music, photo galleries, information about where the person lived and when they passed away. Friends At Rest makes it easy to spread the word about your memorial in several ways including via social network sites such as Twitter and Facebook. Friends and relatives can then visit your memorial and sign the remembrance book, give a gift, light a candle or contribute photo’s they might have. Over time tributes become online areas that record the life of the deceased and the thoughts of the people that they touched during their lifetimes. 

John has gone to great lengths to make Friends At Rest a safe site. When asked about the possibility of someone coming along and abusing the site in some way John was very clear that this just would not happen. “Anyone can create a memorial but they must register first. All email addresses are verified. The person who creates the memorial has total control of anything that is contributed to their tribute. Also, all contributions are independently verified by site administrators to make sure that nothing inappropriate can be posted.”

 John’s site is well worth a visit, so find it here http://www.friendsatrest.com/

Ok, at urnjewellery.co.uk we love our keepsake pendants, but there is a place on the web that is all things advice for cremation ash and what to do with it. For those of you who have held onto their loved one’s ash, or, you have cremated remains and don’t quite know where to scatter them, then head on over the scattering-ashes and read Richard’s blog for a few ideas.

Not only does he tell you where you can and can’t scatter ashes (National Trust properties say YES, but Peaks in Scotland are out of bounds for ash scattering as it has an adverse effect on the plants!!) he has also complied a really useful list of how best to scatter them.

On a topical world cup theme, Richard has been advised that scatterinbg ash on the hallow turf of Wembley Stadium is not allowed, but to make up for this I’ve found this:

 A footbal urn for your ashes from inthelighturns

Really sad this one, for those mums who have to wear these shoes.

I wear a pair of shoes
They are ugly shoes
Uncomfortable shoes
I hate my shoes

Each day I wear them and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step

Yet, I continue to wear them
I get funny looks wearing these shoes
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs
They never talk about my shoes
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.

Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.

Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt

No woman deserves to wear these shoes

They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

If you have any other poems and would like to contribute, please fill out the form below.
Regards
fiona xx

Here at urn jewellery we love our memorial jewellery, but I’ve been searching the net to find unique and unusual memorial ideas.  Some of them are really strange, while others are just damn right odd, but anyway….here goes…..

1. Your ashes can contribute to preserving underwater reefs. Simply put, ash is used in a cast of concrete which in turn is left in the ocean to create new marine habitats for fish and other forms of sea life.
2. How about a memorial bench for your favorite part of the garden or park?
3. These is a company that specialise in putting ash into fireworks, which is a bit of a strange memorial idea I know but,the company that provide this service, are respectful of the deceased person and discrete. Is it the u;timate way of  celebrating that life with a spark.
4. On the same note, there is a company (in America no less) that will put ashes into a bullet so that you can fire your loved one into the desert!!!
5. For art lovers out there, what can be a more fitting memorial then having ash made into a painting? Many companies do it, and if you love art then why not?
6. Now this is one I love, and it’s create a memorial website in honour of a loved one. On it you can put pictures, and people can light a ‘virtual candel’ or write in a condolence book. Gone Too Soon is one such company that provide this service.
7. Another one I love is the name a star memorial…how nice to think they are twinkling down on us.
8. I can just imagine that releasing doves in a memorial service (outside obviously) is a fantastic and emotional thing to do.
9. Another really lovely memorial idea is ‘forget me not memorial seeds’. What better way to commemorate a loved one’s end of life by giving forget me nots or wild flowers at a funeral or memorial service, for others to plant in the garden as a reminder each spring.
10. I saw this on the beach a few weeks ago late at night and they were simply stunning and are really popular in memorials, and that’s sky lanterns. Watching as they float gently towards the stars is really meditative, so see for yourself!
11.  Another really simply memorial idea is a keepsake box with your loved one’s favourite jewellery, letters or clothes.
12. How about a tattoo?
13. For those who are good with their hands, how about a memorial quilt made from their clothes?
14. Don’t forget that a really good way to remember a loved one is setting up a charity in their name or alternatively donating to their favourite charity on their behalf. Always appreciated.
15. How about a discrete memorial rock? There are companies that manufacture urn rocks (secure urns resembling rocks) so if your loved one was  a nature lover their ash can be kept outside where they would have wanted it!
16. You can have a poem written about them!
17. Tear Bottles, which were prevalent many moons ago, are handcrafted glass bottles to collect ears during the mourning period. When the tears evaporated, the mourning ended, but the bottle remained as a memorial of devotion.
18. Just a bit too sad this one, but it’s huggable urns. Here, a company place the ash of a child in an urn bear.
19. Did you know that the Disney Theme parks are reported to be the most widely used (and unofficial)resting place of many people’s ash that has been surreptitiously left there!!!!
20. Plant a tree as a memorial. Not only eco-friendly but also a lovely reminder of the departed.
21. 

Really simple and personal sterling silver baby loss pendant. This pendant can be personlaised with a name/date up to 26 letters. Choose from 16″ or 18″ chain. Complete with a Swarvoski crystal tear drop pendant and cream pearl dangle. 

 This baby loss pendant is made up of three tears -  a Swarvoski crystal pendant, satin finish sterling silver tear and a polished silver tear. Comes on a 16″ or 18″ chain.

Hair Locket Origins

The tradition of carrying a locket with a loved one’s hair encased within is quite interesting and dates back to the Victorians. They made bracelets and necklaces using woven locks of hair. Very few examples of this exist now and in fact if you come across such an item, it could be worth a LOT of money. Later on, the custom of wearing  lockets containing locks of hair became hugely popular.

All our jewellery is suitable for holding locks of hair. For more information on hair lockets look here.

Height:4 cm up to the bail

Width: 7mm

Weight (without chain): 4 grms sterling silver

“I just want to email you to thank you for the hair locket. It arrived today and I love it. Great service” Dolly Metcalf, Cardiff

Please make sure you fill your jewellery securely by following these instructions.

Height: 2.5 cm to top of the bail

Width: 2cm

weight: 6 grms sterling silver

As with all our memorial jewellery, it can be used to house ash, locks of hair, soil from a burial ground or dried flowers. Please read the instructions on  how to fill your keepsake jewellery item, as we want your precious keepsakes within to be secure. The price includes the sterling silver sweetie bracelet.

Please look here if you are interested in creating a memorial website for your loved one.

Ordering your memorial jewellery

Select the memorial jewellery bracelet of your choice and add to basket.

With Urnjewellery.co.uk, payment online is easy and secure using paypal.

Your jewellery will be dispatched 3-4 working days.

FREE postage on this item, worldwide.

“I just want to say I received my memorial bracelet today and it is perfect.I’ve been looking for something unique like this for ages. Thank you xx“ Heidi Max, Greenford, Middx

Our miscarriage memorial jewellery is handcrafted and made in the UK. It’s sterling silver and is a beautiful way to remember a baby lost to miscarriage. You can personalise each individual piece with a message or name up to 20 letters. All our jewellery and fittings are sterling silver. This miscarriage memorial jewellery item comes complete with a sterling silver filigree heart and pearl.

 Our handcrafted child and baby loss jewellery is exclusive to Urn Jewellery. This 1 inch sterling silver pendant comes with a choice of birth stone, sterling angel wings and the choice of a message to be stamped around it (up to 32 letters). Please note all our baby loss jewellery items are handmade and bespoke, and take 2-3 weeks for delivery. If you need your baby loss jewellery before this date, please contact me before you order. 

Please also read our blog on baby loss poems.

This piece reads “My angel rests at home in heaven“. Other phrases you could have are:

 ”When hearts listen, angels sing” 

 ” Sleeping with the angels”.

“Too beautiful for earth” 

Or choose a phrase to best suit you.